If you’re reading this and going through a break up or have recently been through one, I’m so sorry!! I hope you know that you are NOT alone. And we’ve all been there before. Breakups are never easy, no matter what age you are or how long the relationship lasted. But the truth is, relationships end for all sorts of reasons. Maybe you grew apart? Maybe there was cheating involved? Maybe you felt like you were settling? Maybe you realized you both wanted different things out of life? Or maybe this particular person, was only supposed to be in your life for a season and not a lifetime.

No matter the reason for the breakup, it’s still important to grieve the relationship in order to heal and move on. Here are a few things I’ve found to be helpful for me, after my recent breakup.

END ALL COMMUNICATION

Although it can be hard to end all contact right away, nothing good can come from going back and forth with each other. It will only make it more difficult to move on from the relationship. So delete the contact and block him/her from your social media. Otherwise the temptation will always be there. And you’ll be more enticed to reach out when you’re having a moment of weakness or loneliness. The sooner you remove your ex from your life, the sooner you can start to move on.

CHANGE UP YOUR DAILY ROUTINE

From the time you wake up until the time you go to bed, find ways to change your daily habits. The first few days/weeks are always the hardest because everything tends to remind you of that person. But if you incorporate new habits to replace the old ones, it can make the days a little easier to get through. Make sure to fill your schedule with work, dinner dates with friends, new activities, house chores or anything that will keep you distracted for the time being. This way you won’t have as much time to notice the absence of your ex or the routine that you used to share together.

GRIEVE THE RELATIONSHIP

Even if you’re anxious to just move on from the relationship and leave it in the past. You still need to process things in order to fully heal from it. And the process may look different for everyone. Whether it’s getting rid of physical items that remind you of that person, deleting photos from your phone, cleansing your personal space, crying it out or writing a goodbye letter. Do whatever helps you to grieve what was and accept what is. Even if it feels heavy, allow yourself to go through the emotions. You can’t skip over the pain to get to the other side, you have to go through it first.

SURROUND YOURSELF WITH FRIENDS

Going through a breakup can be lonely. So it’s important to have at least one friend who you can confide in without feeling judged. Sometimes we don’t want to burden our friends with our breakup drama. However, having someone you can call when you’re having a rough day or need to talk things through is crucial in the healing process. And if they are truly your friend(s), they will be more than willing to be there for you during this difficult time. But also, be honest in what you need from them. If you just need to vent, let them know that. Or if you want advice, ask ahead of time. This will help your friends to know how to best support you.

FOCUS ON YOURSELF

Now that you’ve grieved and gone through the emotions, it’s time to get back to you. So if that means booking a weekend trip, redecorating your home, working out or going to yoga, practicing self-care, cooking/baking, or making plans with friends….DO IT! Because once you start to take care of yourself and focus on what makes you happy, you will start to feel better each day. It can be easy to loose ourselves when we are in a relationship. So allow yourself to enjoy that freedom again and fulfill your needs.

What steps did you take in order to heal from a breakup? What did you find to help you the most during the process? Let’s start the conversation in the comments below.